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OJ Simpson
OJ can use his mind to change the size of his hand
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Tiger Woods
Tiger's new movie is out: Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant.
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Tiger Woods
Apparently the police asked Tiger's wife how many times she hit him. She said "I don't know exactly... but put me down for a 5."
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Barack Obama
Obama got the peace prize cause he told them that if he didn't he would declare war on them swiss bitches.
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Barbara Streisand
Barbara Streisand is a good singer
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Tiger Woods
What does Tiger Woods have in common with a baby seal? They've both been clubbed by a Norwegian.
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Bono
Bono can change the world by complaining about it
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Barack Obama
Barack Obama can fly
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Nancy Pelosi
Nancy Pelosi wants to reform health care so she can corner the world's supply of botox
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Michael Vick
Michael Vick thinks that a dog fight is just like a boxing match, only they shoot the fighter that loses.
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Tim Tebow
Tim Tebow lost to Alabama because he heard one of Tiger Woods mistresses was going to the Suger Bowl, and he didn't want to miss his chance.
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Barack Obama
Barack Obama can make 12 trillion dollars dissappear
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Tiger Woods
Tiger woods believes determination is important, at least when it comes to text messaging prostitutes
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Bono
Bono doesn't really care what happens as long as people think he did all the good stuff
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